Steps To Being A Man
by monkkeyslut
Summary: He thinks maybe he shouldn't have asked her for advice. Wally/Everyone


**Alright, first things first: Sorry if people are a bit OOC. Like Robin, for instance. Which...I guess doesn't really matter because I suppose all thirteen year old boys would react like he does... **

**There ARE established relationships in this fic, and I know a lot of people don't like Roy/Artemis, but sucks, because they're in this. It's not EXTRMELY Artemis/Roy, but there are hints of it. And a bit of Wally/Robin-Well Wally/Everyone, basically. And Kaldur/Superboy.**

**Awesome. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Artemis?"<p>

The blonde turns, eyebrows shooting to her hairline. "What is it?" The question comes out more of a demand, but Wally doesn't look too bothered by it. Actually…he looks a little flustered.

"Are you _blushing?"_ She tries to hold back a laugh, but it bubbles out of her mouth anyway. "Oh my—sorry, _sorry._ What did you need?" She's still giggling, and Wally's still blushing, but he manages a glare.

"I'm not _blushing._ I'm—I uh…I'm _appalled_ by your lack of clothes." It's like she can see the wheels turning in his too-fast brain. But she just looks down at herself.

"I'm wearing a sports bra and shorts, idiot."

"Shut _up._"

Another laugh makes its way up her throat, and she sits there for another minute. When she's calm enough, she turns to the angry speedster. "Alright, sorry. Now, come sit down and tell me what's wrong. Shorts feelin' a little too tight when you're around Bats? Oh!—or _maybe_ you're just _now_ wondering why you haven't hit puberty, and if that's the case you should _probably_ ask Robin. Since I'm sure he's experiencing it now—"

"This was such a bad idea," Wally groans, dropping his head into his hands. Artemis pauses in her mocking of him—she'd only been able to see him for about ten minutes today and she hadn't had enough time to piss him off—and frowned.

"Wait, okay…what's…fuck me I'm gonna regret this," she takes a deep breath. "What is…_wrong?_ With you."

Wally swallows, not meeting Artemis' eyes. "I need…_help."_

"I know."

His cheeks heat, and Wally's had just enough of _her—_

"Totally kidding." She nods, blonde ponytail bobbing. "I mean…not really but…yeah. Okay. Go."

"Well I figured since you're a girl," he pauses, waiting for a remark, but it doesn't come, so he continues. "And I know that _you_ know that I'm dating Megan."

The look on her face makes Wally want to die. Of _course_ she knows that. Surprisingly, her comeback isn't scathing or rude. She merely nods, hand gesturing that he should continue.

"Right, so I was—there are a few…I mean. You've like…done it before, right?"

It's a delayed reaction, but finally, it dawns on her, and Artemis' cheeks flare up. "Excuse me Kid _Pervert_ but how are you so sure that I—"

"Roy."

"_Fucker,"_ Artemis mutters, grounding her teeth. She glances up, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Continue before I tear your balls off."

The speedster doesn't speak for a minute. Images of his precious parts being torn off are enough to make him sick. He opens his mouth.

_"Wellseewe''veneverlike…touchedagirlandyou'?"_

A satisfied smirk graces her lips, and the archer leans back, tanned skin of her stomach causing Wally to gulp. "Sure thing, Kid. Go fetch me my bag."

* * *

><p><em>Step 1: Proper Ways to Make-out<em>

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><p>"Alright Kid Dipshit, today, I will teach you the art of not looking like a complete douche bag whilst making out with your alien girlfriend."<p>

Robin muffles his laugh behind his hand, and Conner glances at Wally, then Artemis. The blonde paces around in front of them, virtual chalk board behind her, and stick in hand (that Conner had gotten from a tree outside. Robin didn't have a pointer in his belt).

They'd sent Kaldur and Megan away to buy something for some stupid recipe. Artemis made sure it didn't exist and Robin made sure Kaldur was a part of the plan, so he would keep Megan away from the Mountain.

Artemis grins like the Cheshire cat and smacks the stick across her hand. "So. What is it that the Great _Kid Flash_ cannot accomplish?"

Conner raises his hand at the same time Robin does. Artemis points at Robin, who says "Flirting," and Connor says, "Clean up after himself."

The blonde glares at Conner and demands a bigger stick, while she nods at Robin. "Flirting. Yes. Now, Wally. Where on Earth did you learn to flirt?"

He doesn't want to say it because it'll definitely earn him a kick in the nuts from Artemis and a laugh from Robin, but he clears his throat anyway. "Flirting for Dummies Volume One."

Robin starts laughing, and Artemis actually _stares_ at him for like, _ten seconds_ and it's getting kind of weird, but then she blinks, points to the door with her stick and runs a hand over her face with her other hand. "Robin, go find the medical pot. We'll need it."

Since Robin couldn't find Artemis the pot, and Conner couldn't find a bigger stick without actually bringing in the entire tree, they all found themselves sitting back in front of Artemis.

Sighing, the archer looks at Wally. "Alright, so first things first: You need to be able to make out adequately. If you can't do that, you won't turn someone on, unless you're Superboy here," she points at the clone, "who could probably charm the pants off Red Tornado with a look. But where Superboy is all hunky, tall and delicious, you are skinny, lanky and adorable."

"Megan likes it," Wally grumbles under his breath, scuffing his shoe against the ground. Artemis ignores the comment. "So, let's see what you can do."

Robin glances at Conner, eyes raised behind his sunglasses. Wally looks up, giving each friend a wary look. "With…who…?" He eyes Artemis, heat flooding his cheeks. "N-not you, right?"

Wally hates when Artemis gives him that look.

Roy shows up twenty minutes later.

"There you are," Artemis grins as Roy's arm winds around her waist. She smirks at Wally, and then at Roy. "Wanna help a girl out?"

Roy's eyes travel down Artemis' body (she'd changed so Wally would be more 'comfortable') and he matches her smirk. "Love to."

"Great," she unlatched Roy's arm from her body and shoves him towards Wally. "I need you two to make out. Please and thank you!"

It takes Roy a second to process what Artemis is saying, but Wally's yelling at her and Robin's laughing and Conner doesn't really give a fuck because he and Kaldur kiss all the time.

"Wha—Wait—Wally's a—_you're my—how about fuck no Artemis._ How about that!" Both redheads are blushing and yelling and Artemis, well she's not too fazed by this so she waits until they're done.

"Finished ladies?" She asks, eyebrows arched. Roy scowls, and Wally crosses his arms over his chest. "Finished," he mutters angrily.

"Good. Now, make out." She points at Roy with her stick, and he's tempted to break it and shove it up her ass, but she grins and nods at him. "And if you do well, maybe I'll reward you later."

* * *

><p>They'd moved to somewhere comfier, which is Wally's bedroom. Robin and Conner watch as Roy and Wally stand in front of the bed, both stiff.<p>

"Are we like…role playing?" Wally asks, and Robin snorts. He shots the acrobat a glare that could match Batman's, but Robin doesn't mind.

Artemis shrugs. "Whatever. I want to see the sexiest fucking make out in about ten minutes or you'll be sucking the floor."

Everyone's quiet for a few minutes while Roy and Wally stare at each other. Finally, Roy leans forward quick, covering Wally's mouth with his own. The speedster's hands come up immediately, eyes shut. He grips Roy's arms, tugging the boy closer. A small gasp comes from one of them.

Artemis doesn't need to look back at Robin to know he's staring. Conner too.

Roy pushes Wally back, mouth opening against his. The speedster falls against the bed and his teeth nip against Roy's bottom lip, making the older boy moan. His hands come up, gripping Wally's legs tightly to his waist, pulling him close. Artemis shifts where she stands and smirks.

Both boys pull away, gasping for breath, before they're mouths collide again. This time, Roy travels across Wally's nose, neck and any other available skin he can find. Wally's panting, hands working Roy's shirt up.

"_Alright," _Artemis snaps, sweat beading at her hairline. She shifts, and watches both boys pull away, red faced and flustered. "Onto step two."

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><p><em>Step Two: Learn How to Grope Like a Boss<em>

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><p>"Now," Artemis announces, using her stick as a cane. "You can't just hold a girl's hand and expect her to want to rip your pants off with her teeth and take you."<p>

Wally glares at her, but Artemis matches it. "I'm serious. You act smooth—well you try—but that's not gonna win Megan over. She goes to school now, and Conner," she turns to the dark-haired boy and smiles. "There are some pretty fine and sexalicious men at your school, correct?"

"Yes."

"Exactly. And not only that, but Megan is a fucking _cheerleader._ She gets groped by guys _and _girls."

Wally swallows at the thought.

"Exactly. So, you need to know how to do it properly. You and Roy have covered the whole make-out thing quite beautifully if I do say so myself. And that's where the fun begins!" She's cheery now, and Wally thinks he smells something grassy.

She waves at Wally and Roy chuckles. "You're a bitch."

"I know. Back to your bedroom!"

* * *

><p>Wally stares at Artemis.<p>

"Why can't someone else do it?" He complains, shoulders drooping. Artemis raises an eyebrow. "Because Con's got an ass of steel, Roy's already had his chance and Robin's on his fifth trip to the bathroom. I think you can stick with me for five minutes."

Wally nods.

Artemis smiles at him, but it isn't a nice smile like she gives Megan before secretly spitting out the latest batch of cookies that she's burned, or the kind of smile she gives Roy, or even the kind of smile she gives _him._ This smile is…

Well he doesn't want to say it but it's fucking sexy.

He moves quickly, ignoring Roy's grunt and Robin's squeak and the sound of Conner chomping on popcorn. He grips Artemis' thigh, pushes her down and runs his free hand up her sides.

His left hand stops just under her breast and he pulls away from the kiss, eyeing her.

"Don't ask for permission, Wall-man."

His hand is surprisingly rough as it cups her breast, squeezing and tugging. His other hand pushes her up on the bed so he can move his mouth along her chest. She doesn't seem to mind, so he figures he's doing okay.

* * *

><p><em>Step Three: How to Remove Clothing<em>

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><p>"You could have told her that you knew how to grope," Roy mutters, and Robin returns from his eighth trip from the bathroom.<p>

Artemis is still recovering from Wally's experiment, but she manages to clear her throat and point at him. "Alright Wallace—"

"_Fuck off you told her?"_

"Now. Let's see how good you are at taking off clothes."

* * *

><p>Wally struggles to take the bra off, but tries not to make it look obvious. Robin's glaring at him from behind the glasses, but Wally can't help it. He's never taken a bra off before and fucking <em>Artemis<em> thinks it'll—

"C'mon Flash Boy," Artemis sighs, tapping a foot. "I know you're useless but please tell me you can un-fucking-clasp a bra." She stalks over to Robin, whose glare increases. "Watch," she shoves Wally out of the way and pushes Robin back against the bed. He squeaks, but doesn't move.

Artemis leans down, stray hairs tickling Robin's face, breath warm against his cheek. He can see Wally staring behind Artemis.

"Now," she murmurs, hand pressing the mattress down and quickly snapping the bra open. She tugs it off of Robin in a quick motion and tosses it to Wally. "Was that so difficult?"

She stalks back over to where Roy and Conner are standing. Roy looks impressed and Conner still looks like he doesn't give a fuck.

When Robin stands back up, he high fives Wally and the speedster mutters, "Fucking _score,"_ before pushing the Boy Wonder back down on the bed, quickly moving to straddle him.

The bra is back on and Wally's getting nervous again because Wally's gay-dream is always with Roy _and_ Dick and it's like fucking Christmas because he got both in the same day. He leans down carefully, green eyes meeting blue behind the lenses of Robin's glasses. And just for a moment, it's Wally and Dick.

But then Artemis is cheering them on, and Wally's mouth is sucking Robin's lower lip, tugging at it, and his hands are working automatically. Before he knows it, Wally's mouth is sucking on Dick's left nipple and the younger boy is hard against him.

"O-oh sh-shit Wally—" the speedster looks up, grin lighting up his face.

"Panties too!" Artemis calls, and Wally's never agreed with her so fast in his life.

* * *

><p><em>Step Four: How to Do Stuff That Isn't Shoving Your Dick Up Her Vagina<em>

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><p>"Do you get the idea?" Artemis asks a little breathlessly as the video plays over and over again on Robin's laptop.<p>

"Uh-huh."

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><p><em>Step Five: How to Get Aforementioned Girlfriend "In The Mood"—<em>

* * *

><p>"Alright, so let's pretend you and Conner are coming back from a movie, and you're walking her to her bedroom." Artemis instructs, stick poking Wally in the ass. Conner gives him a small smile.<p>

"Nice. Now, I need you to grab his hand, kinda—yeah. Like that. C'mon Wally—"

The glares from both Conner and Wally are enough to shut her up.

"G'night," Wally murmurs, tugging Conner closer and the clone kisses Wally quickly, before pulling his hand away. "Thanks for tonight—"

"Hello?"

Everyone stops. Wally's frozen; the sound of his girlfriend's voice deafeningly loud in his ear, and Conner's breath fucking _hot as hell_ on his face. After a few seconds, Artemis hollers, "Meet ya in the kitchen!"

"Alrighty!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Robin wonders how many times Artemis can manage saying the word fuck in a minute, but Wally's tugging him to the kitchen with one hand, the other hand doing the same to Conner. Roy and Artemis disappear down another hallway.

* * *

><p>"Wally?" Megan asks as he pushes her down against her bed. She blushes at the thoughts racing through her head right now.<p>

"Hmm?" He murmurs where his mouth is on her neck. He bites down softly, and she gasps, hand clutching his hair tight. "I—well are you—are we…?"

Wally pulls back slightly. His pupils are huge, and something warm settles in Megan's stomach. "What are we doing?" The words come out in a whisper.

She moves back on the bed and Wally follows, hand settled on her thigh. Her skirt had risen, she noticed, but Wally's eyes were on her face, not her legs.

He's leaning over her now and she lays back, head hitting the pillow softly. Wally presses a kiss to her lips; mouth closed, and then pulls back. His hand moves from her thigh to her face, cradling it. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Instead of stopping him, Megan guides his hand to her leg, smile lighting up her face. She kisses him, mouth parting, tongue darting into his mouth, and he knows her answer.

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><p><strong>So I kind of lost it at the end. I hope it isn't too cheesy...<strong>

**Review please!**


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